伍迪·艾伦单口喜剧 | 军队 The Army

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And I was not in the army, in case you were wondering. I was in the canine corps.
不知道你们是不是想知道,我没当过兵,但我加入过狗兵团。

Strange story, when I was young, I wanted a dog,and we had no money, we were very...my father at that time was a caddie at a miniature golf course in Brooklyn, y'know.
很奇怪的故事。在我年轻的时候,我很想得到一条狗,但我们家没钱,我们非常?我父亲那时是布鲁克林一家微型高尔夫球场的球童。

I couldn't get a dog, 'cause it was too much, and they finally opened up in my neighbourhood,in Flatbush, a damaged pet shop.
我不能养狗,因为它太贵了。后来有人在我家附近、在弗拉特布什大街上开了家残疾宠物店。

They sold damaged pets at discount, y'know, you could get a bent pussycat if you wanted, a straight camel, y'know.
他们打折出售有毛病的宠物。如果你想要,你可以买到驼背的猫,直背的骆驼。

I got a dog that stuttered.
我买了条结巴的狗。

When the cats would give him a hard time, he would go "B-b-b-b-bow wow", y'know.
当猫咪们捉弄它时,他会发出“喔?喔?喔?喔?汪汪”的声音。

He'd turn all red, y'know. We wanted to send him into the army, but the papers got crossed up, and they got me instead of him.
它的脸憋得通红。我们想把他送到部队里去,但是文件被弄混淆了,他们没让它去而是让我去了。

I was in the canine corps for two weeks. Me and eleven dogs was the outfit. Taught me how to heel.
我在狗兵团里待了两周,我和11条狗组成一队。教我如何像狗那样尾随。

Sergent was a little mexican hairless, y'know.
军士长是一条小的墨西哥无毛犬。

I was not in the regular army. I was classified '4P' by the draft board, we went to war, I'm a hostage.
我没参加过正规的军队,我被征兵局划入了“4P”(按美国的义务兵役制“Selective Service System”,被划入“1A”的可以参加任何兵种,而“4F”则因身体、精神、或品格上的原因不能入伍。伍迪在这里虚构了个“4P”等级显然是想说明自己倒霉到家了。)一类,如果爆发战争,我能充当人质。

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